An Average Day At The Mall
by Dark Little World
Summary: This is how Ulquiorra, Hichigo, Kon, and Nnoitra spend their day at the mall. Well.. With the help of Ulqui's stalker Vanessa and his crush Momo. R&R!-DLW


Four teens enter the mall and make a bee-line towards Hot Topic but stop at the door way. They stare at the person working the counter and shudder.

"Hahaha, I found your stalker Ulquiorra!" Hichigo says with a giant smirk, Ulquiorra's pale face gets paler "Oh god no." Nnoitra shrugs "Let's just go in and try to hide from her."

Kon laughs "As if you can hide! You're fuckin' tall!" Nnoitra scowls "Touché! I'm out." He turns but something catches his eye. He turns back around and looks closely "Oh my Allah. Is that the new Zombies ED CD I see?" he asks as he walks to the CD rack.

The cashier squeals and practically jumps over the counter in an attempt to hug Nnoitra. Hichigo, Kon, and Ulquiorra sweat drop and hide behind the mannequins at the front of the store.

Nnoitra avoids the flying girl as he looks at the CD. He goes to the counter "Vanessa please stop hugging my leg! I want to buy this CD!" he says as he shakes the cashier off his leg.

Vanessa crawls behind the counter and stands "Fine. But where are your other hot friends?" she asks as she scans the CD. Nnoitra holds back a chuckle "Around…" Vanessa smiles widely "How close? Oh, twelve ninety-five" she says holding her hand out.

Nnoitra takes out his Jack Skelington wallet that is on a chain that attaches to his dark purple skinny jeans and pulls out a twenty dollar bill.

Vanessa hands him the change "Here's your change, seven -o-five" she tears the receipt out of the tiny printer and puts his stuff into a hot topic bag and hands it to him.

Nnoitra nods "Yeah, thanks Vanessa. I'm going now." He waves slightly and exits the store. Vanessa waves goodbye and then helps a customer.

Hichigo jumps on Nnoitra as he exits and turns the corner "You're gunna let me borrow that CD right?" Nnoitra shoves Hichigo off his shoulders as Kon and Ulquiorra catch up "Hell no!"

"OH MY GOD! ULQUIORRA!" they hear a familiar screech. They all cringe as Ulquiorra turns his head slowly to see Vanessa standing outside Hot Topic "Crap. I forgot she had break" Ulquiorra curses as Vanessa begins to sprint towards them.

Hichigo runs ahead "Oh hell no! I don't want to be jumped on by your psycho stalker, Ulquiorra!" Kon gulps "Me either" he runs after Hichigo followed by Nnoitra who says "I've seen her once I don't want to see her again!"

Ulquiorra looks at his retreating friends then back at Vanessa who is coming up fast "Thank god I'm male" he says. He then sprints after his friends who had ran into JC Penny.

Hichigo races up the down escalator as Kon stands on the up, catching his breath. Nnoitra sits on a step on the up escalator below Kon.

Ulquiorra hides behind a Justin Beiber perfume rack. Vanessa looks around for the boys. She passes the perfume rack Ulquiorra was hiding behind. Vanessa scowls at the picture of the American pop star.

As she passes by, Ulquiorra quickly makes his way to the escalator and kneels as Vanessa looks towards him.

Vanessa growls "Crap I lost him." She storms off to the food court. Ulquiorra fist pumps slightly and waits till he goes to the top. He puts his hands into his pockets and walks towards the men's section.

Three sets of hands grab him and drag him into the dressing room. On instinct, Ulquiorra struggles "Stop struggling asshole!" Hichigo says as he and Kon sit Ulquiorra down.

Nnoitra chuckles "You surely do fight." Kon gets up and looks around out of the dressing room "Clear!" he runs back to his friends and sits next to Ulquiorra "Okay mister. We need to give you a slight makeover. You know, like change your clothes and hairstyle and maybe get you some glasses."

Nnoitra looks into his wallet "I have enough to help." Hichigo takes out some cash from his pocket "Me too." Kon looks into his underwear "Me three!" Hichigo face palms "No one wants your pubic money Kon!"

Kon smirks "Great more for me." They all laugh and leave the dressing room. Kon whistles as he walks, Nnoitra thinks about what Ulquiorra should wear "Maybe you can be disguised as a skater."

Hichigo nods "Yeah! You can have the cargo shorts and the grey long-sleeves!" Kon turns to them "Oh! You should tie your hair back! So that the glasses can make you a totally different man!"

Ulquiorra nods "Sounds good, let's go."

They cautiously exit JC Penny "She's heading back to Hot Topic. Good." Hichigo says as he watches Vanessa. "Wait, where do they sell fake glasses?" Kon asks. They all freeze. Hichigo thinks "Uh… I see some girls leaving this store with those thick framed glasses."

Kon snaps "BINGO!" Ulquiorra lifts an eyebrow "Which store?" Hichigo frowns "Uh…. Clara's… No… Clares…. No… Claire's!" Kon holds up his fist "Yeah! Let's go!" the group holds up their fist too and they pound.

After their usual handshake, they go to Claire's.

The four teens stand outside of the store.

Hichigo shoves Kon forward "You go." Kon backs up "No, no, you go." Hichigo shakes his head "No. Too much pink… and Beiber." Nnoitra laughs "You guys are on your own, I'm not going in."

They all turn to Ulquiorra. Ulquiorra looks away "You got the idea Kon. You should go."

"Okay. We need back up." They all nod and Kon takes out his phone.

Hichigo tilts his head "Who're you calling?" Kon blushes "R-Rukia." Hichigo shakes his head "No. We need a girl not a boy trapped in a girls' body." Kon growls and hangs up "Fine! You call someone then!"

Hichigo smiles "Gladly" he takes out his black Android and dials. After moments of ringing he gets an answer "Hey Momo! We need your assistance… Yeah… The mall…. Yeah it's his stalker…. Okay hurry. Okay bye."

He hangs up and puts his phone away "She's on her way." A store clerk goes to them "Can I help you boys?" They flinch and turn. Kon shakes his head "NINE! We don't need help from a woman!" he says in a heavy German accent "We need help of a teenage girl not a woman. Be gone!"

The woman stays silent "Uhhh… Okay?" Hichigo wraps his arm around her shoulder "Are teen boys allowed into this fine establishment?" he says in a British accent. The woman blushes and nods "Y-Yes."

"You sure?" Nnoitra asks in a heavy Russian accent. Ulquiorra spots Momo as she makes her way to them. Momo smiles and waves "Hey-" "Let's just go in and get the dreadful thing" Ulquiorra says as he pulls her into the store.

They make their way to the glasses part of the store. Momo grabs a pair of pink thick framed glasses with a fake pink plastic mustache hanging on it. Momo giggles "Ulquiorra." She says catching his attention, he turns and Momo quickly slips the glasses onto his face.

Momo laughs at the shock on his face and the pink mustache that hangs above his lip. Ulquiorra crosses his eyes, looking at the sequence that shines brightly in the middle of his frames "Hmm…"

Momo laughs at him. Ulquiorra uncrosses his eyes and looks into the mirror with a smirk. He takes off the glasses and gives them to Momo.

Momo puts the glasses back and grabs a pair of black thick framed glasses that have a sequenced bow at the side of the left side frame. Momo puts them on and continues to look for regular thick framed glasses.

Ulquiorra see's the glasses on Momo and takes out his black iphone and takes a picture of her "Facebook" he says with a smirk, catching her by surprise. Momo giggles "Maybe I'll buy these." She says posing and pursing her lips like a duck.

Ulquiorra snickers; Momo quacks and continues to look. Ulquiorra finds the perfect pair without any sequence on the frame. He puts them on and pulls his hair back "How's this?"

Momo looks up at him "If I didn't know better I would've thought that you where some other person!" Ulquiorra looks into a small mirror they have "Good… Good…" Momo finds a cute Panda hat and puts it on.

She takes out her white iphone and poses with her hand making the peace sign. After her picture she takes off the hat and fixes the glasses she still has on. Momo spots Ulquiorra putting his hair back down and slowly walks to him.

Momo grins and quickly puts the panda hat onto Ulquiorra's head. Ulquiorra touches the hats ears "Soft…" he says in admiration. Momo giggles and takes the hat off his head and puts it back.

Momo takes off her thick framed glasses and goes to the counter "Ulquiorra! Let's pay." Ulquiorra nods and takes off the glasses. He walks to her and places the glasses onto the counter next to Momo's.

The cashier blushes as she checks out Ulquiorra. Momo hums along to the song that plays "Love you like a love song" she sings slightly. Ulquiorra moves his hand as if saying 'Hurry up' to the cashier.

The girl, Shelly, snaps out of her trance and rings them up "That'll be nineteen thirty-five." She says, bagging the pair of glasses. Ulquiorra takes out his bat wallet and pulls out a twenty dollar bill.

He hands the money to Shelly so she can cash it "Your change is sixty-two cents" she says as she tears the receipt out and puts it with the change into the bag.

She hands the bag to Momo and they leave.

Ulquiorra takes out his pair of glasses and puts them on. Hichigo still has his arm around the woman's shoulder as he continues to talk in a British accent "So the telly is just a screen with magical pictures?" he asks.

"The telly is just a screen with lights shining to show the picture" Momo says with a nerdy British accent as she puts on her fake glasses. They all turn to her and Ulquiorra.

Momo smiles and waves "Hey ya'll" she says in a country accent. Kon smiles "So the queen of accents has returned to us! She is even greater than Sir Hitler himself!" he says with his German accent as he gets on his knee's and praises her.

Hichigo and Nnoitra join him in the praising with their accents. Momo giggles at the weird looks the boys get from passerbyers "Oh get up you goofs"

The three teens stand and salute like Nazi's "Yes Ma'am!" Ulquiorra also salutes "Nazi's are fun to make fun of" he says in an Arabic accent, a grin spreads across his face.

Momo curtsies, pantomiming her skirt which are actually light colored denim skinny jeans. They laugh and head to Pac Sun.

Hichigo enters "Hey Izuru! I need some Khaki shorts and a grey long-sleeve!" he says in his normal voice. Some customers look at the group that enters. "Sure thing!" they hear from the back.

The blond exits the storage room with a pair of shin-length khaki shorts and a grey long-sleeve "Got it right here, anything else?" Hichigo shakes his head and heads to the counter "Nah, thanks Izuru, when's your break?"

Izuru scans the items "In an hour, even though right now is supposed to be my lunch time. God, I hate newbie's! Taking up my lunch time" he mumbles to himself.

Hichigo takes out his money "I know right? They're the worst! Especially when you work at a popular place like Dj's music shop." He says as he waits for the price.

Izuru chuckles "Sucks for you, twenty two-fifty" he says as he folds the clothes and puts them into a bag. Hichigo hands him the money and takes the bag. Izuru gives him his change and the receipt "Have a good day. Oh hey there's the newbie! Damnit he just went into American Eagle." Izuru growls

Hichigo shrugs "We can watch the store while you go get him!" he offers, Izuru pats the counter "Great! I'll be back in a jiffy!" he leaves the counter and jogs to American Eagle.

Nnoitra and Kon stand at the entrance like body guards as Ulquiorra and Momo watch the customers.

Izuru enters the store and goes to the newbie worker. You can see him scolding the poor newbie. Nnoitra and Kon laugh at the newbie's fear of the veteran employee.

Izuru grabs the newbie's ear and drags him away from the girl he was flirting with and back to Pac Sun. "While you work the cashier Yoshima, I'll be hanging out with my friends. A buh-bye" Izuru says as he bows and waves.

They then leave the store, Yoshima shakes a bit, still scared of his boss.

Nnoitra peeks from the corner "It's clear. Let's go." They cautiously make their way to the bathroom. Momo walks behind them, not caring if she is spotted by Ulquiorra's stalker.

The boys make it to the bathrooms. They shove Ulquiorra and his new items into a stall. Ulquiorra quickly changes and stuffs his regular clothes into the Pac Sun bag he has. He exits the stall as he puts his glasses on.

He goes to the mirror and ties back his collarbone-length hair. He sighs and looks at himself in the mirror. His hair is tied back, thick framed glasses on his face, a grey long-sleeve on top, shin-length khaki shorts on bottom, and completed with his original black vans.

He exits the bathroom and walks to his friends who stare at him. Momo pokes Ulquiorra's stomach "You're like a different person… No one will ever think it's you! Especially Vanessa!" Nnoitra and Hichigo high five. Kon smiles "My idea." Ulquiorra and Momo high five "Now it's time to go shopping in Hot Topic!" Izuru looks at his watch "Crap I gotta go! Later guys!" he says as he jogs back to Pac Sun.

They all exit the bathroom area and head to Hot Topic. Kon stops them a few feet away from the entrance "We should go in one at a time." He peeks and sees the store a bit full "Or not…. Let's go." The group enters the store and look around. Momo skips to the Hello Kitty section, loving the cute dresses and hats they have.

Ulquiorra kinda stares at Momo as Momo puts on the Hello Kitty hat and take a picture that she will soon put as her Facebook profile picture.

Ulquiorra grabs a Gir hat and puts it on. He walks up to her and wraps his arms around her waist. Momo blushes as she see's him hugging her from behind in the mirror. He smiles at their reflection. Hichigo nudges Kon's arm, getting Kon's attention. Kon looks at Hichigo "What?" he asks. Hichigo points at Momo and Ulquiorra. Kon smirks and takes out his phone. As does Hichigo "Facebook" they both say as they snap the picture. Nnoitra chuckles "Finally."

Ulquiorra takes out his black iphone and puts it in photo mode. Momo does the same and they both aim it at the wide mirror. "Say cheese" Momo says with a smile. Ulquiorra looks down at Momo and smiles.

_Click!_

The photo has been taken. Momo looks up at Ulquiorra, a slight blush on her face. Ulquiorra leans and takes her lips with his.

_Click!_

Ulquiorra breaks the kiss and looks at Hichigo, who holds his phone. He turns his Android to show the picture of Ulquiorra and Momo kissing. Momo blushes furiously. Ulquiorra smirks "Send it to me. It's going to be my new wallpaper and profile picture" he says as he hugs Momo.

Vanessa stares in shock "Ulqui….orra?" she asks cautiously. Ulquiorra turns his head to her and nods "That is what my parents named me" he chuckles. Vanessa glares at Momo "I see. So you have a girlfriend now" Momo smiles "Can I buy this adorable hat?" she asks as she slips her hands into the little glove like compartment at the end of the long-ish fabric.

She holds her hands up and moves them a bit, like a begging puppy. Ulquiorra slips his hands into the small compartments that the Gir hat also has. He also puts his hands up like a begging gesture "Come on. Let us buy them" Vanessa sighs "Fine! Go to the cashiers desk." She says as she walks away.

Ulquiorra smiles at Momo as they take off their hats. Kon grabs their hats "I'll pay!" he says as he makes his way to the cashiers desk. Kon takes his money out of his underwear and hands it to Vanessa who rings up the items. Hichigo and Nnoitra laugh like crazy.

Ulquiorra nearly gags "He gave her his pubic money" he says with a groan. Momo covers her mouth to stop an on coming laugh.

Kon takes the hats and go back to the new couple "Here ya go." Ulquiorra puts on the Hello Kitty hat "Meow" he says as he looks up at the white fur.

They laugh and leave the store. Momo wearing the Gir hat while Ulquiorra wears the Hello Kitty one. They walk hand in hand with their best friends around the mall.

Momo gets a message. She looks at it and giggles. Ulquiorra lifts an eyebrow. Momo shows him the text

From: Facebook

To: Momo

Rangiku Matsumoto has commented on your photo:- _Who is that hottie?_

Ulquiorra and Momo laugh. Momo texts back, through Facebook of course, '_That hottie is my boyfriend. Ulquiorra Cifer._'

_**Review :D**_

_**Oh! And to get things strait, I know they're total OOCness and if you want to know how Kon looks like read my story Kon's new body to understand!**_


End file.
